Author: J.M. Cullen

Have you ever known a woman who has a lot of great ideas, but seldom completed projects? They are likely energetic and enthusiastic about their ideas! Because they are intuitive, they usually communicate well, regardless of the depth of the conversation. In other words, they equally enjoy deep conversations and fun, relaxing or playful times.

Through disdain of cookie-cutter homes, lifestyles, and people they often stand out in a crowd, giving off their own vibe, wearing less fashionable clothes, and conforming less often than most.

These personality types make great characters in our stories. Think distractions, funny tidbits of behavior that adds color and liveliness to an otherwise humdrum, though necessary scene. Women with these traits are often found surrounded by people, so they come in and out of scenes with ease, interact with other characters from an intuitive, perceptive perspective, quickly lose focus and attention-span, and disappear rapidly.

What other ways can you think of using this personality type in your stories?

Seventy-Five out of a thousand men feel emotions profoundly and genuinely. These are men who use their hearts to make decisions, who while just as logical as others value their sense of morality more. These are men who do not struggle with understanding emotions. Because of this, their need for freedom and sense of adventure often drives them to unknowingly hurt others around them.

Intensely passionate, imaginative, and curious often leads these men down strange and adventurous roads, visualizing things that resonate with others around them. Thus, they are fiercely independent and unpredictable. They are overly competitive with fluctuating self-esteem.

This is because many have not yet learned that self-worth does not come from outside. It comes from within. Failures are often seen as weakness and are thus avoided. Sometimes at all costs. Their passion leads them to try things with their whole souls. Imaginations tell them what is possible, but perfection rarely comes with the first attempt.

Imagine, if you will, Steve Rogers (Captain America) without all that confidence. Even as a ninety-pound weakling he oozed self-worth in spite of his low physical capabilities. What are you left with? A perfect Main Character.

Nearly ten percent of women, according to the distribution charts, are introspective, yet warm and inviting adventurists. They deal with people according to how they feel about them, or how they fit into internal value systems. While striving to consistently act within a strong set of values, they tend to rebel against anything that conflicts with that goal. More to the point, I believe, they rebel against anything standing in their way of living according to their beliefs.

They are likely to be kind, gentle, and sensitive when dealing with someone not close to them while keeping them at emotional distances. Actions win over musing, but their heart guides their decisions.

Because they take life seriously, but because they are both extraordinarily perceptive and generously warm and caring, they desire to serve with their whole hearts. This makes life challenging, their perfectionism often causing intense self-scrutiny with unnecessary harshness.

As secondary characters, this personality is excellent for foiling aggressive and tyrannical characters or contrasting the beauty of life against logic and cold rationale.

The vast majority of men, over a third of the distribution of personality traits tend to rely on logic, rule by thought rather than emotion, and place facts over other people’s feelings.

Are all men cruel, especially when it comes to competition in the boardroom, field, or gameboard? In my experience, many men feel so inadequate about their position in life, that they put other men down to build themselves up. In the world of competition, tactics that appear mean-spirited are even welcomed. They cheer the champion as he defeats the opponent all the while thankful not to be the one facing the king of the hill.

There are some, however, who understand there is power in vulnerability. 8.1% of men are kind-hearted, gentle, and value harmony. Some realize that more is accomplished through mutual cooperation than through competition. These men bring out the best in others.

How many Psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but it’s gotta wanna change. Significant changes occur in people’s lives only when they are ready to face the fact that they are not perfect, not the best, don’t have to be the king of the dung-hill. Those that facilitate those changes, however, are the real heroes.

There is a war-champion somewhere in all men. We love to cheer on the underdog, scream in excitement when the miracle play, the hail-Mary, is up for grabs and through sheer force of will and determination is caught, and the tides turn. We sit on the edge of our seats rooting for our team and the closer the score, the more we scream at the screen against the unjust referee, the blatant call, the obvious missed opportunity.

There is also somewhere deep in the recesses of every man the magician bearing the wisdom of the ages. Generosity feels good, even more so when there are no strings attached.

The difference between men who rely on logic and those concerned with others feelings come down to one thing, I believe. Do each of us have the brass knuckles to find and live with passion. What is the difference between passion and anger, an excitement that creates opportunities and ferocity that cowers? Attachments. Those who live without attachment to outcomes are free to experience the world. Those who do things, everything, with an expected outcome, especially when those expectations concern other people, will always live with disappointment. And it is often those disappointments, and the fear of continual disappointment, that turn passion into outbursts.

Little boys are taught to ignore their emotions and push them deep inside. Since emotions unattended eventually seek out the light, they come out of us in waves of torrent and frustration; passions with nowhere to run.

The third most common personality type for women is the Performer (ESFP): Extraverts who love being the center of attention. While they almost crave the spotlight, they can also be thoughtful explorers who love learning and sharing new insights with others.

Never underestimate a performers’ ability to read people, who use their interpersonal tool set to acquire loyalty. Because they are warm, generous, friendly, and sympathetic, they can appear to be concerned about others’ well-being. While underneath, they may harbor such qualities as greed, lust, power-lust from the majority of their associates.

This combination could make for some very interesting villains, don’t you think?

8.5% of men fall into this category. This may seem like a small number, considering it’s number three on the most common personality type list. Just remember that the number one and two are 16.4 and 11.2 respectively. This third group of men share a couple of things in common with the first two groups, however. All three prefer facts, specifics and details. All three are ruled by the head and not the heart.

Yes, an increasing number of men have been taught to lock our feelings away, not show emotions. And certainly don’t cry; it’s a sign of weakness.

But why?

First, in no particular order, is the fact that in our formative years we are connected primarily to women: mothers, female teachers, cub scout leaders, Sunday school teachers are primarily women. Furthermore, absent fathers doesn’t contribute to the mix.

Contrast that with our DNA. From the early days of man’s awakening, men bonded together in the ritual hunt, and the rights of manhood (think walk-about). It is in bonding with the older males in life struggles that a boy learns what it means to become a man.

Am I suggesting that women aren’t capable of teaching a young boy virtues of manliness? Not at all. Women are capable in every way.

What I am suggesting, however, is, biologically speaking, infants, toddlers, and young men bond with their mothers and other women in their life differently than with men. It’s built into our DNA; from eons of selective breeding certain types of DNA strands evolved through the years.

Am I suggesting that men are incapable of developing other traits such as intuition, or change the way we perceive and accept the world around us? Certainly not. I whole heartedly believe in the human being’s ability to change, to grow, to adapt and progress.

Does this information change how we, as story tellers, approach our craft? Probably not. Tropes exist in stories because tropes exist in nature. Men are men. As long as we continue to be men, we will continue to be portrayed in stereotypical stubborn, heartless, and calculating. I don’t see that changing in any dramatic way anytime soon. Prove me wrong.

Whether introverted or extroverted, the majority of women are Sensing, Feeling, and Judging. Nearly seventeen percent of women are of the extrovert variety. Social butterflies with a predominant need to connect to others, they organize households, neighborhoods, and communities around great causes. They gather specific details about others and turn this into supportive messages making people feel good about themselves.

In this nurturing way, the feminine supports and strengthens the masculine making it possible to fulfill his goals, thus fulfilling her innermost needs. Behind every successful man, they say, is an xSFJ.

What would happen, though, if the Sensing, Feeling, Judging person were evil, cowed into darkness by major heartbreak, abandonment, and abuse of every kind? Wouldn’t that make a truly malevolent antagonist?

Do you have a favorite dark character that fits into these descriptions?

If men aren’t the inspector (ISTJ), they are next likely to be ESTJ – The Supervisor. It’s interesting that, regardless of whether they look inside or out, majority of men rely on senses and facts rather than feelings, logic over emotions, and judgments before perceptions. We tend to have strong habits and focus on what is or has happened rather than what might happen. We see efficiency as more important than cooperation and prefer planning to spontaneity. Sounds like just about every male protagonist I have ever read about.

What would happen to our stories if our male protagonist was open minded or curious? What if he sought out cooperation or maintained social harmony instead of causing strife? What if they were a relaxed nonconformist who made laid back decisions while keeping options open? Would our stories be less compelling? Would tension in our plots slacken? Would we bore our readers into purchasing more vampire date-night plots and our bank accounts into overdraft?

As expected, the majority of women are ISFJ-Nurturers. Their introspective nature empowers them to find generosity within themselves. This, in turn, generates mercy, kindness, and empathy.

These are strong emotions for a writer to work with. A woman’s sensitivity to others emotions can shed light on the darkest problems, and even find their solutions. Though Nurturers aren’t solely focused on resolutions and goals, their ability to bring out the best in others provide mechanisms that lead to the end of conflict and the reuniting of lost souls.

In my own writings, I often find myself using the nurturing capabilities of women to clarify emotional conflicts and unite people with their lost goals.

How do you use nurturers, either male or female, in your stories?

The majority of men, seventeen percent according to Career Planner (see https://www.careerplanner.com/MB2/TypeInPopulation-Males-Females.cfm) are The Inspector (ISTJ). This means that most men are bright, logical, and direct. Their focus on concrete facts and data make them good analysts. A tendency towards thoroughness and attention to detail means that they are rarely wrong.

In my experience, most of my coworkers seem to fall into this profile. To a point.

But under pressure of deadlines and intense scrutiny of their managers, most lose interest in the fine details, favoring simplicity over finesse, quick and easy over made from scratch, regardless of the long term costs and effort.

In other words, under pressure, most men favor inexpensive duct tape and bailing wire to a polished product, because the latter requires more effort – in the short term.

Sadly, most of us are the children in the behavior test who eat the cookie in front of us rather than wait the five minutes with a promise to receive two.

In the stories that we write, do our characters primarily stay within the prescribed profile, or do we let them drift, and show us their weaknesses? At the risk of clarity, giving our characters personality defects makes them more real and, therefore, easier to accept and identify with.

How have you introduced character flaws?