ISFJ-Finally, A Man Who Feels

The vast majority of men, over a third of the distribution of personality traits tend to rely on logic, rule by thought rather than emotion, and place facts over other people’s feelings.

Are all men cruel, especially when it comes to competition in the boardroom, field, or gameboard? In my experience, many men feel so inadequate about their position in life, that they put other men down to build themselves up. In the world of competition, tactics that appear mean-spirited are even welcomed. They cheer the champion as he defeats the opponent all the while thankful not to be the one facing the king of the hill.

There are some, however, who understand there is power in vulnerability. 8.1% of men are kind-hearted, gentle, and value harmony. Some realize that more is accomplished through mutual cooperation than through competition. These men bring out the best in others.

How many Psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but it’s gotta wanna change. Significant changes occur in people’s lives only when they are ready to face the fact that they are not perfect, not the best, don’t have to be the king of the dung-hill. Those that facilitate those changes, however, are the real heroes.

There is a war-champion somewhere in all men. We love to cheer on the underdog, scream in excitement when the miracle play, the hail-Mary, is up for grabs and through sheer force of will and determination is caught, and the tides turn. We sit on the edge of our seats rooting for our team and the closer the score, the more we scream at the screen against the unjust referee, the blatant call, the obvious missed opportunity.

There is also somewhere deep in the recesses of every man the magician bearing the wisdom of the ages. Generosity feels good, even more so when there are no strings attached.

The difference between men who rely on logic and those concerned with others feelings come down to one thing, I believe. Do each of us have the brass knuckles to find and live with passion. What is the difference between passion and anger, an excitement that creates opportunities and ferocity that cowers? Attachments. Those who live without attachment to outcomes are free to experience the world. Those who do things, everything, with an expected outcome, especially when those expectations concern other people, will always live with disappointment. And it is often those disappointments, and the fear of continual disappointment, that turn passion into outbursts.

Little boys are taught to ignore their emotions and push them deep inside. Since emotions unattended eventually seek out the light, they come out of us in waves of torrent and frustration; passions with nowhere to run.